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Home Article Library May 2016 The Essential Guide to Spiritual Events

Inelia Benz

Expectations and Agendas

Why do we join groups or go to events?  Firstly I would like to share with you the following article which I wrote about the subject in 2009:

Ascension and Groups

It was Jesus that was reported to have said something in the nature of "For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them."

This sentence promotes a 3D group. A savior is needed, or a deity or person to focus one's love to, rather than existing as each individual being Source.

It is no secret, although to me it is a real mystery, that when two or more people of a high vibrational nature meet, their ability to affect their own work, lives, environment or visions, is much more effective than when only one person is there. It is almost as though by joining with others, the power generated is greater than the sum of the total individual powers.

For me this is annoying to say the least. This is because I do not work well with others unless I can come and go as I need, and often in groups others will project or require "savior", "need", “co-dependence", "commitment" or their "love" to one person or each other rather than the temporary project we are working on.

However, when I am with others, one or more, to do a very specific session, or for a specific reason or project in a state of non-dependency, non-commitment except to stay through one's own choice because the work brings satisfaction, even if the reason is to enjoy a hike, it is a fantastic experience. I LOVE working in these groups. But I see them more as connections, networks, rather than groups. We come together temporarily to achieve a common goal which is inspiring, passionate and perhaps meaningful.

Even in my personal work, that of channeling information and writing it down afterward, I am much more effective when there is someone there asking me questions or tapping into their own streams of consciousness and databases or processes, that I can then have access to. So, I call for temporary groups to come join me in the co-creation. People come and people go as their own interest comes and goes. It is organic, it moves, it shifts and changes, it is rich and powerful, varied and colourful.

So groups are indeed very useful. Are they necessary? Not really. We can do the work on our own, as many, MANY, solitary workers will attest. But it is different. It could be said to be more effort involved at some levels and less in others in each configuration (alone or in a group).

To work in a group in present time (3D) there appears for the group to need to be a group reality agreement. They have to agree to what is real, and new members have to agree to that reality for it to work. It is also the nature of human 3D groups to have a leader. Once these are sorted, working in a group can be very satisfactory for those involved.

For the group to work, if the members of the group connect to each other at a heart level it moves from 3D to a higher configuration. This means from a level of unconditional love and open hearts. If it aligns to one specific person at a love level, need level, a specific external problem level, or issue level, or mission level, but not a HEART level, it causes a 3D group.

I work with people all the time, both on the phone and in person. The work is very specific, but without that unconditional love connection, it would be useless to say the least. IF that love connection becomes "conditional" in any form, such as exclusive, dependent, or needy, the work falters and falls. The agenda turns to "follow a guru," rather than, "let’s co-create this in an organic manner".

Occasionally I will work with a person who really has "no business doing work with me" if looked at from a limited viewpoint. Not because they are "not worthy", but because they have no interest in staying in an ascended sovereign state. They will arrive to me through curiosity, or because his or her best friend had a session and he or she wants to get one too as the latest fad, or because they have projected their authority onto me.

These are the hardest ones to work with because they are not in the space of an unconditional heart centered perspective. It will take lots of sessions to get them to see Oneness even, let alone experience it. Then they go away and ask for advice on their "path" to Oneness. And they often return over and over asking for more, still projecting their authority and "needing Inelia". If I refuse, they feel abandoned and "left behind".

When this happens, it is difficult not to roll my eyes and sigh. It could be frustrating too, and there was a time when I would have done all these things. Yet the work stands. It is not a coincidence that they crossed my path. It is true that with the two of us working together at that particular time/space, they did indeed experienced a sense of the state of Oneness, albeit "conditional and temporary". Whatever happened to them afterward is their choice, but at least the seed remains. One day, perhaps in this lifetime, or maybe the next, that seed will sprout. When that day arrives, it will become clear that it was not I who planted that seed, but themselves... out of all the "wrong" reasons.

So even in a group, whether small or large, that has only you as the person with the open heart and flow of unconditional love, the work you are there to do can get done, but it is likely that sooner or later you will "become the leader" and others will start pulling at your energy, attention, and "leadership", or projecting their authority onto you.

If you find yourself in a group where a lot of the members are negative and have low vibrational perspectives, look for the nearest exit sign and run out of there as fast as you can. This is because the opposite is also true. A group of negative individuals is more powerful in their negativity than the sum of their individual negativity.

It is our human nature to join with others. We are all interdependent in existence. This natural aspect can, and has been, exploited through programming. One way to see if that is the case, is when we feel, or are told "we cannot leave the group", for whatever reason. Or if we do leave, we cannot come back. Or if we disagree with the "group reality" we will be thrown out and lose all our support, love and connection.

A higher vibrational group that comes and goes organically as passions for doing, or passions for projects arise, but gels in a sense of equality, not focusing their need or love on one particular person, God, being, or mission, but simply doing what brings the most joy at any one time, and each acting from a location of sovereignty, power and ability, that's a group that has moved into another dimension. It is hard to see how it can even survive as a "group" in present day society, and maybe that's the key, maybe it is no longer a "group" configuration, maybe the answer is simply "two or more coming together to achieve a common goal" rather than "when two or more come together in my name".           

What to expect from the Speakers and Organizers

When we are looking to grow at a personal level, expand our awareness and step into our empowerment, we need information, guidance and data.  Yes, it is true that all of this is inside ourselves, and really, truly, all we need to do is look inwardly to our own higher self, divinity and eternal beingness. However, our ego and social and cultural programs will usually get in the way.

Going outside of ourselves to find information, guidance, teachings and skills is as natural to humans as breathing. Our most accelerated form of learning is through “mapping” to others. What does that mean? Well, it means tuning to someone else (their skill or vibration), or synchronize or entrain to someone.

Therefore, joining groups or going to events is a healthy, normal and highly rewarding way to guide ourselves through the path of evolution.

What can you expect from Speakers and Organizers?

A well run, smooth experience which delivers the information and connection that you were looking for. But also, we often expect many more things from the event. Looking at those things, what we want or expect, is something we will cover later in this chapter, but it is something I would like you to keep in mind as you study the rest of this material.

When we resonate with a speaker, teacher or guru, often we will have a very strong heart felt connection to them. Trust will come hand in hand with that heart opening.

When we choose teachers, gurus or speakers, we do it because they have something that we want to learn. This might be a frequency or vibrational state of being, it might be information, it might be skills. Being clear about what we are after helps us in getting the most out of the event or activity we join.

If the event is small, we might feel nervous or afraid to be seen by them. Alternatively we might very well want them to see us and acknowledge us. These feelings are signs of “projection of authority”. A projection of authority was part of the paradigm we are leaving, so again, a natural reaction. But these days, it is not something we want to subscribe to or feed energetically in any way or form. 

Always remember that teachers, gurus, speakers and leaders are human. And as humans, they can carry programs, issues, agendas and a whole spectrum of projections from others, from us, and from themselves. Sometimes these programs get triggered or activated, and the teacher or leader starts behaving in ways which are culturally or socially inappropriate. IF this happens, be 100% sure that your feelings that something wrong is happening is correct. 

These things could be that you need to do something, pay something, or make yourself available in some way to the group or leader that you would not normally do. BUT it makes you feel special, chosen, unique and better than the rest. OR makes you feel that you have invested so much time, money or both that you cannot walk away now.

These are some of the examples of things that were not resonant to the participant (shared with me):

 After several months of training, and $20,000, a person was then expected to do a ritual where they stabbed themselves in the third eye, vacated their body and allowed a different (more advanced) soul to enter it.

A woman healer  told her male client that his higher self (and hers) told her they were meant to be with each other as a couple. She then had sex with him, he left his wife and moved in with her. It did not end well.

The group was asked to keep their eyes closed while the leaders walked the room and gave them healing and enlightenment through touch.  One of the attendees was touched inappropriately by one of the male leaders.

A young man was told to empty his credit cards for a course which would empower his financial situation. It took him several years to pay back his credit card debt… no empowerment.

A participant was sat in front of a second participant, and they were told they were soulmates. Neither participant felt any connection to the other, but they tried to force one. It didn’t work.

All of those situations happened with people who are intelligent, leaders who have very good and empowering information, and one within a group which is recognized legally as a religion.

How do you protect yourself from exploitation or actions that are not resonant to you?

TRUST your knowing and your intuition. When something feels wrong, it is wrong for you.  Always follow your intuition, and if at any time you do something out of fear (fear of rejection, or fear that you don’t know best) walk away. When you walk away, you can always inform yourself and come back later if you find it was something you really want to do. If the group or leader tells you you cannot come back so you better do it right away, then walk away. Any type of pressure to do something right away is suspect. Don’t be afraid to verbalize that what is happening is not something you want to do, or that it feels dissonant to you.

Here is the link to the class on how to protect yourself from Spiritual Predators.

Always remember that you know best! There are hundreds of thousands, if not millions of teachers, healers, leaders and gurus out there. And most have super good skills, frequencies, vibrations and information to impart. Take what resonates and don’t be afraid to say “no” to what you don’t want from them, whether this is in the form of dogma, information, data, energy or physical contact. If they take offence, move on to something else, you are done with what they have to impart.

Here is an article I wrote that will help you pinpoint very important aspects that will help in your journey:

When You Wake Up

For most of us waking up in a world that is still asleep is a very harsh and difficult experience. Having not fully gone to sleep in the first place, the realization that everyone around you is fast asleep can sometimes take years if not decades. And in between, there is this feeling, knowing, that something is seriously wrong with "reality". But as everyone else seems to tell you, think, and believe, that all is well, then that "wrongness" is internalized as something personal. Often you become convinced that there is something seriously wrong with you.

So you spend the next few years, decades, trying to make yourself "right", "normal". This can happen in many forms, but two are most common: One is to do everything possible to make yourself fit into the agreed reality, where fear, war, pollution, and having to pay to live on this planet is "normal". The second one is to make "normal reality" be wrong and step into a journey of discovery and expansion that makes what you feel and "know" to be right. Yet, all the time fitting, recruiting, and finding others who are also awake, waking up, or "wrong" to society at large.

Eventually, you decide it's actually OK to be "different". This can come about by your inner voice, or an expression of your inner voice through your environment. What follows is usually an insatiable desire for knowledge, information, data and connection with others who you perceive are also awake.

This moment is when you are most vulnerable. You are both wide open to influence because that's how society has programmed you, aware enough to know that there is more to life than a 9-5 job, for example, but not aware of the millions of spiritual predators out there ready and willing to "give you the only solution", "make you feel special", "show you the secrets of the universe", "heal you"... and many other assortments and colors of giving away your power to them.

It's a jungle out there, and you are like a babe in the woods.

There is no easy solution to this process. We can fall to so many traps, and seeing them for what they are can sometimes be something we don't want to do. But here is a list that might help:

1. There is no Spiritual Journey except the one you create.

2.  Never look outside of yourself for answers, solutions, light, enlightenment, Oneness, or Source.

3. No person out there can heal you with their private parts (yes, this is actually quite a common "tool" used by “gurus").

4. Don't study or accept "interpretations" of teachings. Always go to the source of the teaching and read and study the original work.

5. Know that there is no "only solution", "only practice that works" or "one truth" to anything. Anyone peddling the only solution for anything is to be avoided at all costs, no matter how enlightened, well respected, loved and good they are.

6. YOU are the ultimate authority on what is real, true, and good for you. ALWAYS follow your knowing, your intuition, listen to your body and don't do anything that feels a bit off.

7. Realize that we tend to excuse and rationalize away the red flags, and negative actions of others, especially if we are close to them, want to be close to them, or want their approval.

8. You are the only one who can discover you, approve you, and give you permission to experience a life of joylightlove.

9. Hug your body yourself often :)

10. Realize that you are the bridge into the New Paradigm. That it's not about "waking others up" but being yourself fully, in full authenticity and integrity that you show the way.

What we can expect from other attendees

Often we will expect other attendees to be at a very high level of evolution, awareness and integrity.  And often, the speaker or event organizer will state that it is no coincidence where you sit, that there is a connection between you and the other attendees. Also, sometimes we are required to do exercises with the people around us.

This can result in long lasting and very rewarding friendships and companionship on our journey of life.

Most of the individuals you will meet in your journey are amazing. They have woken up to a greater truth of life regardless of all the programs and dictates of society, their family, their culture, their work schedule and necessities, and often physical challenges. Learning with and from other attendees is an awesome experience.

Events and groups can also have one or more predators or people who come with their own agenda which is totally independent to what the speakers or organizers have created. The agenda could be to sell you or the organizers something (an idea, a project, a product), or find their soulmate, or find an excuse to exit their evolutionary path (by generating a very negative response to the event), or have an excuse to leave their family and life behind forever. 

Sometimes we ourselves will be triggered by someone in the event, another participant or organizer (positively or negatively) without rational cause. There may be a long history of previous lifetimes in certain relationship dynamics, or they may remind us of someone from our present lives.

A way to get the most of the event regardless of what others are there to do, is to be street smart. Don’t assume that because you have the best intentions toward yourself and others, that everyone does. Just like the guidance for dealing with the people in “power” (hosts, speakers, gurus, organizers), make sure you verbalize what is acceptable for you and what is not.

One of the things that we discovered at Walk With Me Now, was the tendency to be “polite” in the face of behavior that we felt uncomfortable with. Another tendency was to think that the person we felt uncomfortable with had a special relationship with the host, so they must be super cool and great and our uncomfortable feeling was just us being silly or fearful or jealous… in other words, there was something wrong with us.

There are two ways in which we can deal with these situations. One is to blame the other, the organizers, the group or ourselves for what is happening (we attracted it right?), and the other is to “own” it in a responsible way and sort it out. For example:

You go to a week long event and you start getting lots of attention and conversation from one particular person. She needs help, advice, or gives us advice, wants to make friends, tells you she is lonely and asks that you give her your phone number and address in real life - which you do.

After a few days of this person following you constantly at the event location (sitting next to you every time) you find that conversations are stimulating, but you start seeing the red flags. Too much, too soon, you lose interest or start feeling discomfort or dissonance, but how do you tell her to stop? You feel sorry for her and can’t “betray” her by telling her to leave you alone (abandon her like everyone else has done).

Solutions you can think of: leave the event. Be upset that you spent all this money for the event and now all you can think of is how uncomfortable this person is making you, ruining your opportunity to enjoy and get the most of this event… wait… maybe it’s a lesson for your evolution! Start thinking that it’s you who’s the person at fault, you must be selfish and unkind to want to cut this poor person out of your life.You attracted this situation in your life after all. There must be something wrong with you if you are the only person who attracted this situation.

Alternative solutions: Tell the person in a calm and kind manner you are now uncomfortable with the level of contact you both have and will no longer have contact with her. Or you can contact the organizers and let them know you feel uncomfortable with the situation that has developed and ask for them to help. You then process your savior energy and your “you have to be polite to people” energy and promise yourself that you will spot the feeling of being uncomfortable with someone right away in the future and that it is ok to step away from them at any time. It is best if we avoid sugarcoating the situation, taking blame, or making lies to excuse yourself.

When we own something, we tell ourselves and the other that we are now not resonant about it and we do it in a kind but straightforward way. And we make it OK for ourselves, give ourselves permission, to step away. We don’t make them wrong or demonize them or ourselves in order to step away. We simply own that we don’t feel comfortable anymore.

If at any time you are approached or touched inappropriately by another attendee, tell them to stop, that you do not like them touching you or approaching you in that manner. If they insist, or they somehow make your stay uncomfortable in other ways, approach an organizer to let them know what is happening for you. Their contact or approach may have been innocent, but that’s not relevant here. What is relevant is that it did not feel appropriate to you and that in your eyes it did not stop.

Sometimes someone will touch our shoulder to get our attention and it is perfectly fine. Another person does it and it feels like a complete invasion of privacy, almost like abuse! It is OK to feel differently about different people for no rational explanation whatsoever. The first person we allow to touch our shoulder, the second we ask to please not touch us physically again, and to step away a little when they are talking to us as their touch and proximity makes us uncomfortable.  Most people will totally respect being given kind instruction like that without us making them wrong. If the person become offended or defensive, then ask them to kindly not talk to you or approach you in any way. You could volunteer more information and tell them that they are triggering your defense mechanism and that until you process it and handle it, it would be most comfortable for you if they kept their distance. Talking is great, as long as they stay two feet away.

Remember, everyone goes to events for different reasons and are at different levels of awareness, skills and capacities. Be kind to yourself and others. Be aware that many people will be heavily in the “I, me and myself” state of consciousness expansion.

Don’t think that bad things happen because you need them. You don’t and they don’t. By being street smart, knowing exactly what you want to get out of the event and having strong social and personal boundaries about what you want and what you don’t want, you can have an amazing, drama free and enriching experience every time.

What is expected of you

What is your Agenda, what do you hope to gain by joining the group activity or going to the event?

The word Agenda has very negative connotations these days. But actually, it means something very specific:

Word origin is from early 17th century (in the sense ‘things to be done’): from Latin, neuter plural of agendum, gerund of agere ‘do.’

Just like we often have very high expectations of the event, the speaker, the other participants and the organizers, we often also may have very high expectations of our own participation. What do we expect of ourselves when we go to an event?

We may expect to learn something new that will transform our lives. We may expect to have a beautiful, peaceful, enlightening experience. We may expect to make new friends and new companions in our journey of ascension. We may expect to understand things better.

Other people will indeed be projecting all sorts of things on to us, including that we are capable, able, spiritually advanced, an expert communicator, willing and able to do exercises with them (if allocated to different people) and in general to be an integral part of the event or group activity.

More often than not, an event is where we step outside of our comfort zone and daily life routine. It is also somewhere where we will be willing to do things we would normally not do. In this sense, it can be a great support in us achieving benchmarks we find hard to do on our own.

The article “Mystical Etiquette” was written about meeting new people and species, but it is also a must read for when we participate in groups and events.  I originally wrote it as a preparation for the December 2015 event in Neah Bay, and have now updated it especially for this Course.

Mystical Etiquette

Mystical Etiquette - 11 points to remember when approaching new people or species.                                                                                                                                          

            Often when we first encounter, or open a new communication channel or skill, we will be able to have first contact with different species.

When we go to an event, we are establishing a communication channel with the speaker/teacher as well as the other participants and (depending on the nature of the event) with ultradimensional individuals.

            At the December 2015 event, we explored how to establish contact with other earth beings and ultra-dimensional beings.

Part of establishing contact, is what we do afterward. There is a certain etiquette that we need to follow, or at least be aware of, when we make first contact with other individuals as well as other species.

            By different species, I mean animals, trees, ultra-dimensional beings, ETs, spirits.

            There are certain energetic factors that will dictate who and how those people or species can communicate with us. By learning the basic protocols of communication, we will not only be able to have a better time reaching and communicating with other human beings, but when it comes to animals, plants, elementals and ultra-dimensional species, we will know how to establish a positive and clear channel.

            1. Be aware that just because another species, or person, can communicate with you using your ultra-sensory perception, it does not mean they are in any way superior to you. Don't give your authority away!

            2. When you make first contact, don't ask for help, favors, guidance or any type of personal benefit. Treat the being/person as though you just met them in the street, a cafe, or a party, and are getting to know them. Get to know them.

            3. Don't give them a long monologue of your troubles, frustrations and problems.  Would you do that to a total stranger at your local cafe? Well, if you do tend to do that, stop. (Unless of course you have paid for a personal session to sort your problems out).

            4. Be aware of your personal energy field, and don't "push" it into the other person or being. Wait to be invited in, or invite them in (once and gently) and wait for a positive response.

            5. Stay within your own positive core energy while communicating, there will be a unique energy field generated between you and the person/being you are communicating with. Allow the "joy/light/love field" to grow, but don't "push love, healing or light" onto them. This would be like kissing a stranger intimately... it can be very gross to the person receiving the "push of love" into their field. ONLY do this with people you know well and have a strong love connection with.

            6. Stay outside of Judgment. It's easy for us to judge people and beings as "good" or "bad". When first establishing communication, it's best to stay outside of judgment. This does not mean we don't use discernment.

            Discernment: the ability to see and understand people, things, or situations clearly and intelligently.

            Judgment: the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind.

            7. If at any time you feel afraid, end the communication, process your fear, then start again IF YOU SO WISH.

            8. Remember that no one can establish a communication with you unless you agree to it through conscious decision, a social program or fear.

            9. If you are constantly worrying, or thinking, what the other person or being is thinking about you, or seeing in you, end the communication. This is your ego pushing fear into them, which is both uncomfortable for you and gross to the other person or being. Don't kick yourself over it, simply become conscious of what you are doing, and stop.

            10. Be gentle, tread gently, be kind, and be in integrity and truthful both to yourself and to the other being or person.

            11. And lastly, remember that all information we receive and perceive whether with our five common senses or ultra-sensory perception, is filtered by our own programs, what we think is "real" and firewalls. Always double check what you see or perceive, sometimes this can be done by simply asking, "this is what I understand, is it correct?" and wait for a yes or no answer.

Always remember that if we get physically, emotionally, mentally or energetically triggered in some way, the trigger is ours. We can deal with it by processing the energies in our emotional, physical, mental or energetic body by using the Fear Processing Exercise (change the word Fear for the name of the trigger), or by removing ourselves from the situation or relationship.  Just because we are here on the planet, it does not mean we HAVE to partake in every single reality creation from every single person on it. Let’s choose who’s reality creation we support with our energy very carefully. This is good advice both in life as well as at events.        

Physical and Sexual Etiquette

Just like there is a Mystical Etiquette that deals with our energy bodies, so is there physical etiquette that deals with our bodies, our environment and what and how we treat ourselves and other people physically.

Physical etiquette is very simple. Don’t touch or hug anyone without asking if it is OK first. Don’t take it personally if a participant or speaker hugs or shakes everyone else’s hand but does not want to touch you. And, if you feel a rejection of one person and no one else, don’t fall into “being polite” by allowing them to touch you when you do not feel comfortable about it.

About sexual etiquette, most adults are sexual beings, so the first thing to address is our sexual behavior and also how we respond to other people’s sexual behavior toward us. Navigating events without getting sexual triggers from people or toward people is not an easy thing to do. Especially if we make deep and meaningful connections during the event.

Often, society will teach us that the only people we can have a meaningful and deep connection with is a sexual partner. This results in our bodies coming “online” sexually when it is not appropriate or reciprocated.

This might result in us becoming sexually aroused or interested by one or more of the other participants, speakers or organizers, or become the object of arousal from other people at the event.

Knowing that this happens and that we can be firm if we are not interested, as well as knowing that it is not appropriate to approach people sexually within the context of the event is enough to deal with this issue. If someone really peaks your attention, then make friends and wait a few weeks before you approach them with your sexual interest.

But also, know that it is not a big deal or particularly significant. Most often, it is just a passing energy or creation and will fade away quickly.

It is not appropriate at any time for the speakers or organizers to approach the participants with sexual advances. One rule of thumb is if a person is your customer (paying for training, counselling, teachings, healing etc..) then don’t act on your sexual attraction for them. It is not only illegal but it is also an abuse of power. 

This might seem over the top, but it is amazing how many participants, organizers, speakers/teachers, and volunteers use events like a dating service. It is understandable because there are not many other social gatherings where one can meet suitable candidates who are interested in the same subjects and life goals as we are. But, if this is your actual goal, be honest, in integrity and know that this is your goal. Find alternative ways to meet the right people (there are online dating sites for people with many interests), and don’t push your agenda onto the event, the organizers or the participants.

Giving Away of Power

What does it mean to give away our power? It basically means you are going against your own knowing, intuition and feelings because you feel you don’t know as much as the other person or group.

When we give our power away, we let others dictate what happens to us. We also let others guide our path, evolution, or learning.

This does not mean that we stop having guides, religions or teachers, it means that we dictate what we learn from them and what items and data we decide to integrate into our lives.

A lot of people that start teaching a new or old dogma, skill, capacity or ability, will often start thinking and teaching that it is the ONLY solution to everything from headaches to wealth (unless wealth is a bad thing, in which case it is not a solution for it). I have always taught that if a person or organization tells you that theirs is the ONLY way to enlightenment/wealth/health/add item here, it’s best to simply walk away. Their righteousness will often invalidate and undermine your OWN intuition, knowing and wisdom. Once you have a strong sense of self governance, sovereignty and trust yourself completely, the studying, trying and checking out of different teachings, gurus, religions and speakers is very rewarding. You take what resonates and is true for you, and drop the rest.

The other end of the spectrum for giving our power away (and simply the other side of the coin) is when we completely refuse to look at, or even consider, other viewpoints or teachings to the ones we came up with ourselves, or have subscribed to for a while now. When we feel the energy of righteousness within us, we know it’s the ego talking and not our higher self.

When you join groups or go to events and feel the energy of being “right” come up for you, try not to undermine others and their belief systems. If you go into a question and answer session, ask questions that truly interest you and for which you are gathering answers. Don’t go in or ask questions to “prove” the speaker wrong and make yourself right. Sometimes we might go in with a sense of being right and want the speaker, guru, teacher or host to see how special we are and acknowledge us. Both these things, feeling our answers are right and others wrong, and wanting to be seen as special (someone to see that we are enlightened or super spiritually advanced for example) are both signs of what we call the Spiritual Ego. Don’t beat yourself up if you fall into it, just recognize the red flags and pat yourself in the back for spotting your ego going on a self-important ride. This will allow you to keep your power and not give it away to your own ego.

To summarize, the giving away of our power can be when we give it to someone else whether an individual or a group because we think they know better than us, and it can also be when we give it away to our own ego because we think we know better than everyone else.

The balance is in keeping an open heart and an open mind. If someone teaches you a method or skill that resonates with you but you don’t know, or are not sure, it’s going to work, try it for 3-6 months before you discard it. And remember that there are millions of tools, methodologies and dogmas out there, none of them are “the only solution to everything” so trying several out and seeing what works is a very good idea.

Someone asked me, “what if it’s not them or their teaching that is wrong, what if it’s my programs coming up to mess with me and stop me from learning how to be more empowered?” And the answer is very simple, if a teaching makes you dependent on the teacher or the organization, then it’s not empowering. If the teaching makes you able, independent from the teacher and all teachers, and encourages your questioning and testing everything you learn, then it’s your programs. What you need to take into consideration here, is that if your programs take over, then there is something in your higher self guidance that does not want you to follow that event, teacher or teaching. By seeing that something is not for you, you can simply walk away without demonizing (making the other wrong and evil). If you have followed the advice in this manual, and still find yourself in a situation that is dissonant to you, then review this chapter and see what you’ve missed. If you see that there was an aspect we didn’t cover, then send us an email with the advice so we can add it to the manual and others can benefit from your experience.

Preparing for the Event

Good physical, emotional relationships, and financial preparation will ensure you have an awesome event!


Never go into debt to go to an event.

If you don’t have enough to get there, start planning for next year’s event and start saving today. The only loans or credit card debts that are OK to get into are those for items you can easily sell to pay your loan back at any time. Otherwise, for holidays, events or consumable products, do not get loans or use credit cards.

The reason is to make sure that there are no loans you cannot quickly and easily get out of.

If you get a loan to go to an event, and then don’t have the means or ways to pay for it, you are stuck. Also, if the only way to pay these types of loans is to stay in a “secure” job that you don’t necessarily like, or even if you do like it but it makes you have to stay at it even when you no longer want to, it means you are enslaved. That’s why the first Chapter of this course had the article, “Debt, a link in the chain of enslavement”. It was placed there for you to consider what debt means and how to avoid it at all costs. Events, both the travel to get there, lodgings and fees, usually mean spending more than we would usually spend in daily life. So it’s easy to get into debt in order to join it. If at any time a group or leader or organizer encourages you to get into debt or max out your credit cards to join them or an event they are organizing, stay away from them. They DO NOT have your best interest at heart.

Instead, start using the “Reconnecting With The Spirit of Money” exercise and heal financial “lack” so you can have more than plenty to do all the events, courses and activities you want whenever you want them. You can listen to and download the MP3 for free here:



Many events include lodgings. If they don’t, the organizers will often send you a list of local lodgings for you to consider or book. When deciding on your lodgings, make sure you know what the arrangements are before you book. Some events provide shared rooms, sometimes sleeping bags in a large hall, sometimes bunks, sometimes individual rooms. If you don’t like sharing or sleeping with other people around you, make sure to book yourself a place in which you can stay independently of the event.

Always follow your own sense of most comfort. Don’t agree to stay with 20 other strangers in a hall even though you hate the smell of other people’s feet, just because the organizers planned the event that way (don’t give away your power). If for you, part of the event is the joy of sharing a room with one or more individuals, then ask to see if anyone else wants to or needs to share a room. When our finances are tight, sometimes sharing a room with others makes perfect sense. Make sure that you are comfortable with the layout of the room, does it have more than one bed? If not, are you comfortable sharing the bed with a stranger? Or if you bring a friend, is it OK with you and them to share a bed?

Always ask your physical body if they are comfortable sharing rooms, beds, bathrooms, and other facilities with other bodies (people), and listen to him/her! Looking after our bodies and making sure they are comfortable is very important.


If you have an allergy or special diet, and the organizers are providing food, it is up to you to communicate your dietary requirements to the organizers. However, if you are ‘supposed’ to be on a special diet, or want to start one but haven’t yet, don’t add extra pressure on the organizers to buy all your newly required ingredients. Events are not really the best place to start a new diet.

If you do have very strict requirements, but the organizers don’t have the capacity to fulfill them, then part of the planning will be to acquire, pack and take your own food to the event.

It is always a good idea to bring your own preferred snacks and drinks to events. This will ensure your body is always comfortable with food rather than going hungry (because he/she did not like the food provided, not enough food was served, you were not hungry at the time, or can’t eat it).


A lot of events are in remote locations. If you don’t drive, or don’t have the funds to rent a car or get a taxi there and back, do contact the organizers to see if other people are driving there from your location (or airport, train or bus station), and make sure to get your transportation sorted out well in advance.


Have you put in for holiday time at work? Do you have all your deadlines and other responsibilities covered? When going on a Spiritual event or retreat, it is always best to switch off your cellphone, laptop and tablet, and simply BE in the event.

If at all possible, make sure that everything is taken care of at work and that everyone there knows you won’t be reachable while you are at the event.

If this is not possible, then make sure you minimize your internet, phone and email interaction to half an hour maximum per day.

Pets and Children:

Arranging pet care and child care is something we need to do well in advance, and it is always a good idea to book two or three people or places so that a week before, when they require you to finalize and confirm your booking, at least one will still be available. The caring of pets and children is one of those “open doors” that often gets triggered to stop us from taking part in self growth events.

An energy that often also gets triggered around children and pets is the energy of “guilt”. Which is why we sent you the articles and tools to deal with guilt in the first chapter.

Worried Friends and Relatives:

When we start on our self growth journey, family, friends and relatives will often get worried. This worry comes for several reasons. One of the reasons is that the person or group has heard about cults and thinks that since you going to an event on the other side of the world, or city, with people you have not met, and they don’t know anything about, it must be because you have been brainwashed into a cult.

Another reason is that friends and relatives have sensed and felt a change in you. You no longer put up with their drama, or codependency, you may be more independent, less dramatic or codependent yourself, or you may have suddenly become happier and more able. This can cause a huge amount of “fear of abandonment” in the friends and relatives who were fully engaged in low vibrational games with you.

Trying to educate them or convert them to your new found teachings will usually result in a worse state of mind than they began with. What you need to do is listen to their concerns, and I mean REALLY listen. And without invalidating their views or concerns, respond in a manner that will make them know that you heard them, that you will keep their wisdom in mind as you do the event, and that you are very grateful that they are mindful of you and your activities. 

IF while you are listening to their concerns, you see that the event, teacher or group DOES have red flags around being a cult, or disempowering, or disabling, then listen to your friends and relatives and don’t go!

The Perfect Event

The perfect event is a combination of your expectations, your own willingness to participate and grow, educating yourself with the material the group or teacher is imparting, and boundaries, good mystical and physical etiquette, and good planning by you.

If you follow the suggestions in this manual, chances are you will have many excellent events, group activities and growth in your life.

Note: Do you want to chat with Inelia? Go to walkwithmenow.com/about

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Process your Fears

Fear is the emotion that keeps you back, that has the most lowering effect on vibrational level. Fear can remain as a back thought when you do your meditations or visualizations. Suppressing this emotion is not helpful, but you can process it and release it from your body. The transcript of the exercise is freely available.

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