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Home Article Library November 2009 When the Ego takes over

Inelia Benz

Ascension is the expansion of awareness, and Ego, if it takes over, will shrink one's awareness.

How can we tell if the Ego is taking over? There are signs.  We become judgmental, we make others wrong, we become someone's victim, we get hurt and we hurt others.

Ego is a necessary body for existence on Earth and this article is not about "getting rid of it", "killing it" or anything of the sort. But it is about not letting it take over our existence.

A few examples of ego taking over.

Recently a friend of mine had a bad fall in his journey of discovery.  He felt that he had to find his own truth and lead others to it. The details are personal so I won't go into them. However, I do want to mention this particular case because it is something that will happen to MOST OF US. 

Basically, what happens, is that we get too wrapped up in our own importance. Especially so if our calling is one of leadership, education or dissemination, as was the case with my friend.

The call to lead can be very powerful, and does have with it, power.  Power is the ability to do.  The person with power has the ability to do what they want.  This is a positive thing. Power, in the realm of the spiritual or enlightenment, has with it great responsibility. Responsibility is the ability to respond. Which in turn is power. 

With this being the age of awakening, people are hungry for leadership of the soul.  This, of course, is a contradiction in terms. People who look for leadership are simply looking in the wrong place. The whole thing about enlightenment and ascension is that the person does not look outside of themselves, does not ask others to provide answers.

I am not saying that a person should not seek wisdom of past and present masters, on the contrary. The more the person exposes him or herself to the wisdom of the ages the better.  However, at the end of the day, the person will need to look at their inner self and experience their completeness within, he or she will need to find what is true for him or her.

My friend fell big time. He contacted me looking for answers, wondering what was happening, why this had happened to him. My answer, look inward. Stay heart centered and quieten the mind.
He felt bad that he had led people in his "truth" which turned out to be nothing but egotistical rumblings.  There is no need to feel bad. People are divine beings each and every one. If one or more of those divine beings decides to follow another person in their spiritual growth, there is a connection there and lessons to be learned. There are no victims in life.

And you know what? Most people would not have even realised they were making a mistake, most people go ahead and live their truth and disregard other people's truths for the rest of their lives.  He did not.

Signs that the ego is taking over:

We make others wrong

"You are wrong about that, it doesn't work that way."
"No, that's not it at all."
"If you do that you are a fool."
"NO, you have not had a good life, you've had a shitty life, a horrifying life. A life fool of hardship. That's not a good life."

I heard someone say this in a conversation.

When we make others wrong, we shrink their being. It is a way we cut them down and destroy them.  Make someone wrong enough times and they will become depressed or worse.

Our feelings get hurt

Recently I traveled several thousand miles to spend some time to get to know someone better.  This lady is someone I admire and have great affection for.  When I got there, well, after a couple of hours, she basically let me know she did not want me in her space, mind, thoughts or feelings. It was honest, but the truth is it hurt like hell. Here I was, open wide to receive her. Spent hundreds of dollars to be there, traveled several hours to be there, and allowing her to be in my space, my thoughts and my heart, and she comes out with this... and really, this is someone I don't really know.

It is our EGO that expects to be expected, accepted, welcomed and loved.  It is our EGO that looks for validation, approval and admiration. It is our EGO that expects to find something out there, in another person, that we should be looking for inside ourselves.  But when we do this, we give away too much POWER.

DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER, and don't get so attached to your own TRUTHS that you can't see other people's truths, which are just as valid.  But don't push others away to protect yourself.  We are here to interact, to communicate, to experience closeness, friendships, love, connection.

Anything that shrinks our awareness, due to judgment, hurt feelings, accommodating others rather than being ourselves, second guessing ourselves, making others wrong, feeling important, and more, is most likely the ego taking over.

Strive for humbleness, openness of spirit, make yourself vulnerable, and allow life to teach you to grow, expand and ascend to your next level of awareness.  Never become so invulnerable that no one can hurt your feelings or show you where you need to work in order to expand even more.

Note: Do you want to chat with Inelia? Go to walkwithmenow.com/about


0 #6 Inelia Benz 2011-07-10 17:44
Quoting Jacqueline:
Inelia - you say "DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER, and don't get so attached to your own TRUTHS that you can't see other people's truths, which are just as valid. I agree with that, but you also say "But don't push others away to protect yourself". My queston is - if someone is around you and they constantly affect your vibrational energies and sap your energies, what should you do then?

We stop them. By not stopping them, we perpetuate the victim/aggresso r cycle of abuse. We begin by not agreeing to be at effect.
+1 #5 Guest 2011-07-07 09:39
Inelia - you say "DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR POWER, and don't get so attached to your own TRUTHS that you can't see other people's truths, which are just as valid. I agree with that, but you also say "But don't push others away to protect yourself". My queston is - if someone is around you and they constantly affect your vibrational energies and sap your energies, what should you do then?
+3 #4 Guest 2011-06-22 18:54
One visualization approach that I have learned to minimize the chattiness of the ego, is called the "Ego Minimizer"(this was posted on YouTube by Ascensionhelp). When trying to concentrate on a meditation or staying in the positive, oftentimes the ego will present what seems to be irrelevant or intrusive thoughts. What to do? Simply thank the ego for it's contribution and then direct it to be quiet and sit down. This visualization has worked wonders for me.
+4 #3 Guest 2011-06-14 17:38
I love my ego, and he loves me, but we try and stay separate nowadays. I can always hear what he has to say, just like I can hear all the other voices up there, and I try to listen to all of them (I believe even the ego has valid points sometimes) and figure who's giving me the best advice at the time.

I had an experience where I lost my ego for about a week, and that whole week was sort of lonely and sad. I had the other guys up there, but the ego is the fun guy. He has a Hell of a great time in this world.

I too feel the pull of leadership and education like your friend, and I do my best to try and listen to the people I'm leading and educating to help them best. I've learned that everybody has a significantly different path and sometimes all you have to do is help them to find it or give them some information.

Anyway, keep up the love!
+3 #2 Guest 2011-06-09 02:02
Great! I am just passing one of these trials. Hahaha! There is always the ego commenting on every insight I have in meditation or during the day, to make it accessible to the world, write in my blog or elsewhere...AND there is always that other part that really wants to do everything right and tries to controle the first part. But you know what? they BOTH are ego. ONENESS is beyond. Going back there is PEACE.
Love, Laurion :lol:
+4 #1 Guest 2011-05-27 11:22
Hi again! And a big?? No one has commented on this?!? That is so strange to me, as this must be the ONE issue that we are ALL (or most..) 'riddled' by, whatever our path may be. Well, let me speak for myself ;) Again and again, I stumble in this. Yesterday, I informed a friend that I'd started writing a blogg. To keep this shoert, he responded by informing me that reading was not his thing, as it restructures the brain. And I read something in between the lines, that maybe wasn't there in the first place. And the ego was loose! I tried to hide my negative reaction by being cocky and funny. Spent lots of energy doing that. In the end, it seemed I undid so much in only fifteen minutes. Oh my, this is the one BIG threshold for me. To be frank, there was probably quite a bit of ego in his wording. But it takes 2 to tangle, and tango. My inner guide always informs me what is happening, but I find this the greatest obstacle on my path to oneness. Vanity. Righteousness. Ego. Grace! And Love!

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