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Awakening Information When we make mistakes, is guilt the right thing?

Yesterday, I made a mistake that cost me $25. It's not much, but you know, it was due to carelessness on my part. That made me mad and feel guilty of making a mistake. It made me mad that I had made a careless mistake.  Thank goodness the mistake was minor and didn't hurt more than my ego.

However, mistakes are made every day, we take wrong decisions, we say the wrong thing, we read instructions wrong, or don't bother to read them, and break things or lose things.  Mistakes can carry a big price tag on our lives. People can die if we cross a red light, for example.

But what exactly is a mistake?  Is it really something we did not mean to do? Or is it a wrong decision? Carelessness?

It can be any, or all, of those things.

Being guilty of a mistake is not the same as feeling guilty about the mistake.  Feeling guilty is the wrong response, admitting one's guilt, without reservation, is the right response.

I was brought up to believe that making a mistake was one of the most terrible things that we can do. It didn't matter whether the mistake was done through ignorance, lack of exeprience, a wrong decision, or carelessness. It was punished, and punished severely.  For years my reaction was to avoid accepting guilt (in the court sense) at all costs. I would pretend I did not make a mistake. I would plead innocence. I would not stand up and say, yeah, I did that wrong, I was careless, I didn't read the instructions, I actually have no idea what that is so made a mistake.  Even though IT WAS MY FAULT.  And even if I did admit "fault", I would make up a great excuse to go with my apology. "I am so sorry I called you names, but I was tired and you kept bugging me." - not guilty, I'm innocent, it was really your fault, but I'll say sorry because I'm such a good person.

And my FAULT, is what I was trying to avoid in all those situations. I could not be faulty. I had to be perfect because in being perfect I would be loved and accepted. Plus, if a mistake caused damage to other people's property, I was told, bluntly, by insurance companies and lawyers to say NOTHING. To admit NOTHING. And let them get me, and their and my money, off the hook.

For me, once I grew up and my personal authority figures were no longer there, when I made a mistake I would not admit it to anyone, but would punish myself. I would block the divine flow and get very, very sick. The sickness would often involve terrible physical pain.  And all because I could not look myself in the mirror and say, "you messed up that time. But that's OK, there will be other times."

Mistakes and guilt are different things.  Yes, we are guilty of mistakes, but we should not feel guilty at our mistakes.  Feeling guilty is a waste of time.  Feeling responsible is something else entirely. When we take responsibility for our mistakes three things happen.  One is that we are able to admit what we did and apologize to any victims, if there are any, and the other is that we can learn from the mistake and not repeat it.  And, most importantly, the positive resolution and acceptance of a personal mistake becomes one less link in the chain of karmic patterns which keep us from fulfilling our life purpose.  It frees us because become empowered, able to respond to what happened in a positive way.

When I was asked today about the mistake I made yesterday, my first reaction was the old one, to make up an excuse, to blame someone else or whatever, find something to let me off the hook.  Then I came back to my senses and simply replied that it was my mistake and I apologized. No excuses, no blames, nothing.  A lesson learned and a situation to avoid in the future.

 

Comments   

 
+2 #10 Guest 2011-10-20 12:54
Guilt comes from judging our actions, good or bad. Trascending this polarity, avoiding a judgement and being responsible for the outcome detaching it from ego sources is what I understand you are talking about. Thanks from my soul.
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+1 #9 Guest 2011-10-17 17:38
A lot of this really hits home. When I was growing up making a mistake especially misplacing something or breaking something was bad. My mother was very harsh in this regard. If something was lost I would have to search for it for hours till it was found, no matter what, or face a lot of rage if something was broken. This took a lot out of my childhood but now my mistakes are my own and I face no retribution from no one for them. Mistakes are part of life but our society really teaches us to be unforgiving towards mistakes and it is is punitive society. I just want/need things to change in this regard because people can be so harsh towards you for mistakes. Thank you for this article.
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+2 #8 Guest 2011-10-05 02:37
When we love ourself without any limit we can understand that mistakes are just simply lessons that we can learn from it.If we start to judge ,to make others quilty or responsable for what happen to us ,we already starting to play a role,the victim one and we disconnected from the Source.From what i feel is that any choice we can make for us ,for our community...etc ... is to be from the heart and it will never be a mistake.The choices from the Heart are the Best one.Thank you soo much Inelia for all ur articles.All of them help me to understand My Self and Creation much better.I wish u All The Best...with gratitude Nela
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+9 #7 Guest 2011-10-05 02:04
No such thing as a mistake it's just a learning experience and Guilt a useless waste of energy
In Love and Light always xx
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+1 #6 Guest 2011-10-04 18:54
Thank you for this timely and helpful article, Inelia! This is something that has come up for me in a very big way lately. Can you say something about what we can do when we have done something society/our upbringing considers wrong, and we feel guilty for having made the mistake on one hand, but there is also something in us that does not see it as a mistake, and does not feel guilty/actually feels grateful for it and does not want to let go of it? Ascension is not always pleasurable, is it!! :-)
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+3 #5 Guest 2011-07-05 05:03
I was just on this subject, transmuting and processing the concept of perfection and how we as humanity have mis-interpreted it causing experiences such as yours in this article. What is missing for me and what keeps coming up as I process my own pain is the synchonicity of those happenings ... I have a huge regret(mistake) in my life and I continue to try to make sense of it somehow in the 'Divine plan' sceme of things as the guilt continues to surface for healing and processing - I have done all the obvious processing like association with family patterns and the karmic liability but there is still a gap. Maybe it is that I just have not gotten to the point of NOT beating myself up and this is just another clever disguise of that pattern? - might there be something I am missing here in order to clear it? And what purpose might it still be serving? Thank you! M
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+1 #4 Guest 2011-07-02 14:45
BEST HELP EVER!
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+4 #3 Guest 2011-06-17 08:52
Dear Inelia, Thank you very much. I love this and many other texts of you. In this message it especially made me feel relieved to hear that a person makes mistakes every day, because that is often how I felt, but as if I was the only one. Also the confirmation about apologizing was very beneficial for me: I knew somewhere that it was the right thing to do, but somehow I still always tried to blame someone else after a mistake. Thanks for your wisdom! I will read more of them.
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+7 #2 Guest 2011-05-28 07:17
Inelia,

This is a very important issue. I have been working to be as honest as possible, to be responsible and fully empowered. I agree that taking responsibility is valuable and the best thing we can do. I also agree that feeling guilty or making others feel guilty is one of the least helpful things we can do.

I read somewhere that the opposite of love is not hate or fear, it's guilt. If we wish to experience unconditional love and be messengers of unconditional love, we must forgive ourselves and others completely. That leaves no place for guilt.

In All Love, Light, and Oneness,

Daniel
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0 #1 Guest 2010-07-14 06:39
thank yuo for your advice
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